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We reached out to a few mamas we love that represent the LGTBQ+ community. We asked them about their motherhood journey and for some wisdom they have learned along the way! Thank you for all you are, mama!
A lot of thought goes into bringing children into this world when you’re part of the LGBTQ+ community. How will other children perceive them? Will they be ashamed to have two moms? What about our local community - is it accepting? We actually moved out of a town and into a new one because we didn’t feel like our lifestyle would be well-received by those in our community. Our only hope is that our children grow up surrounded by love and acceptance and the courage to be exactly who they were meant to be.
One of my friends actually said something to her child that so beautifully encapsulates this question. She and her 6 year old son were visiting our twins for the first time and she knew he would have questions. So, on the way over she told him this: “Guess what!? We’re going to see the twins today and they have two moms. Aren’t they so lucky!?” Her son was so excited and thought having two moms was the coolest thing ever. His mom took a situation that could have been filled with so much doubt and uncertainty and turned it into one of the most beautiful moments I have yet to witness.
Just because our journey may look different, our hope for our children is the same, that we may raise happy and healthy children who go out and do good in the world.
Our community is rooted in love. Love for all, in ever shape, color, size, and language. Teaching children that we are all human and we all worthy of love is at the core of understanding for me.
The parenting world is VERY cis- and hetero- centered, so it often feels like society doesn’t view our family unit as a valid one (in fact many states and some countries don’t). People often assume we are sisters, or friends, or cousins - you name it - before even considering that we could be her Moms. Books, TV shows, commercials, etc. only feature families with moms and dads. It can be difficult to find families like ours represented in the world, for us and our daughter to identify with. This forces us to create our own family identity and reestablish it as valid, worthy, and right every single day.
We wish parents would teach their children about ALL kinds of families, including LGBTQ+ families. We wish that folks wouldn’t just assume that a family unit consists of a mom+dad+kids, and that version of the family unit is one of so, so many. LGBTQ+ families want the same things for our children - to be happy, healthy, and provided for. We as same-gender parents want to feel welcomed, celebrated, and validated in society. That LGBTQ+ families are just as full of love and caring as any other family. I think a great place to start is by reading books to kids about families with two moms or two dads. If you haven’t chosen to read those books to your children, ask yourself why? Why wouldn’t that be a valid option for a bedtime story? LGBTQ+ families almost exclusively have to read books to their children about families with heterosexual parents, because that is the majority of what is available. We constantly have to explain to our kids that it’s different than how our family looks, so hetero parents can do the same for their kids.
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